Stay away from women who make first move

Sunday, April 26th, 2009 by sword^fish

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Intended audience:
This article is handy for males who are “single but want to mingle”, in a relationship but having a feelings ‘it’s not working like before’. If you are in a relationship which seems to be working now, then please NAVIGATE AWAY from this page right now; I really do not want you to blame me for your breakups.

Preface
While studying at NSU, I kept my eyes open and I’ve seen many relationships among boys and girls being established and broken. For those it worked out, some got married, some are engaged and some are still hanging out just to maintain the relationship not being able to say the right thing “No”. If you belong to third group, you must be suffering from fascination “I can’t hurt my love”.

Take a greater look on your life, brother. Life is not about marriage. It’s not about sacrificing your own life for a commitment once you made at a weak moment. If you do not say “No” right now, you might get married but then, society’s strange acceptance of the (false) premise that you’re the pursuer helps you out.

It’s time to learn from Women because they are good at saying ‘No’.

You are not mercurial
How did it start? You looked at the most amazing girl and you felt like ‘Love at first sight’ ? Then I’m telling you what happened, sequentially:

You started to follow her, few days later you tried to talk to her. She was only nice to you.
Few days or months afterwards, you two became very good friends and found similarities in taste of life, art, music, social values, opinions.

Then you proposed her and you had feelings that you’re the luckiest guy because you just heard sweetest word of the world ‘I do’ from her lips.

Hang on right there, brother!

Things have changed by now. You are losing attraction to her these days and you cannot say ‘No’ because in past it was you who took all the initiatives. Is it hard for you to betray your soul-mate now? Let me help you to evade this perception.

Evade Perception

I go to parties or social gatherings and I always have close observation on the guests. That gives me opportunities to capture what’s actually going around. I missed it most of the times but sometimes I figured out what made a man approaching to a merely known woman, not the other ones. She did not call him by name, she did not raised her hand to catch his attention, she even did not come to him to make an introduction. So, what did the woman do?

It’s called ‘nonverbal solicitation signal’. The woman smiled at the guy, danced alone with the music while eying him, flipped her hair or primped while continuing to eye the poor unsuspecting dude.

So, if you have misgivings that you’re being mercurial, forget it. No need to fear that at one time you were irresistibly attracted to the woman and now you’re not. Chances are you were just subconsciously responding to some blatantly obvious (to everyone but you, that is) move she made on you. Think of yourself as a victim if it helps you make the break.

Have you decided to say ‘No’ now? You need to learn the art of saying ‘No’.

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Don’t be a fire extinguisher

Do you believe in Karma? Few years ago, I was very rude to a girl when I had to say ‘No’. To another girl I was bad at saying ‘No’ i.e. I never said ‘No’, verbally. Two years later, I fell for a woman and, believe it or not, it was exactly the same way I was refused. If you are not afraid of Karma, you decide how you would say ‘No’. These days I follow art of saying ‘No’. Let me share most recent one as example:

I looked at her eyes and said, “I think you are confused about our relationship.”
She paused for a while and replied, “no.. what do you mean?”
I said, “How do you define our relation?”
She made her mind, “We are friends”.
I was not satisfied, “Friends? Do you think I have shortage of friends? Why I’m here with you alone, then?”
She pinned it, “okay! we are good friends”.

Then I smiled at her and we changed our topic.

First two girls hate me, but this girl likes me. The psychological explanation is, women are assertive but they are not aggressive. Men are aggressive but they hate rejection. Therefore, if you try this way, 95% of the time (at initial stage) you will settle in friendship.

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12 Responses to “Stay away from women who make first move”

  1. 's Avatar
    neuro11

    [-]

    oh..my…..(beloved lover loving other managed so far agency)…..where is ur agency….what is ur office hour….i need to contact you….


  2. Introvertdreams

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    WOW!!!!!!!!


  3. DeV|L

    [-]

    Very well written piece boss!


  4. ozzy

    [-]

    nice writing brother

    have a nice day

    Sweden/
    Turkey/

  5. 's Avatar
    Dio

    [-]

    duh, are u getting tired of being a saint? finally? :)

    well i 2nd to ozzy. Nicely written.


  6. SM Adnan

    [-]

    Thanks for sharing your experience!!! I like these technologies :)


  7. Adrift

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    Have you seen the movie “yes man” ? if not, you better watch it. I see, you are making a “no man” concept here. Well, like the “yes man” this “no man” has both positive and negative sides. So don’t just conclude saying yes or no as they can’t be true all the time. Man, don’t make mistake, you still have time to do it right :). So smile… say yes to girls whom you should say yes and no to those whom you should say no. :)

  8. 's Avatar
    sword^fish

    [-]

    thanks everyone :)

    @Dio, I wish to be a saint and I want my children to be saints!

    @Adnan, you mean techniques?

    @Adrift, did you forget last scene of ‘Yes Man’? :-D uh! no.. I’m not asking anyone to be a ‘No Man’. I’m just trying to break the ice.


  9. nogard

    [-]

    neat!!!wat happens if da gal u like actually asked u out and not some other gal???

  10. 's Avatar
    sword^fish

    [-]

    i see nothing wrong in that @nogard. this article is for those who are in hesitation about their current feelings for their mates.

  11. 's Avatar
    Dio

    [-]

    Its weird that a lot of the nice women makes the 1st move these days just because we guys and sick and tired of them acting as precious little princesses.

    Just kidding.

    I don’t agree with Saumen as it goes both ways.

  12. 's Avatar
    roman.ahamed

    [-]

    100% agree. The word “No” is a jhakkas word.

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